Mommy’s Water-Breaks

It’s a hot day!


And YOU. You’ve been running around, playing, sweating in the back yard for hours.


How about a glass of water? Doesn’t that sound good? A nice cool glass of water. Here you go. Drink it.


Water. It comes right out of the faucet. It’s clear and clean and healthy.


Water. Miraculous. It has always amazed me. Water makes the plants grow and it makes the sun shine, and it’s loaded with protein and vitamin B.


Without water there would be no ships and if there were no ships there would be no pirates. Imagine. No, we cannot imagine a world without pirates.


Remember when you were six years old and you wanted to be a pirate on Halloween? Your father and I were hoping we could cut two holes in an old bed sheet and throw it over you and send you out trick-or-treating dressed as a ghost. But you didn’t want to be a ghost. You wanted a wooden sword and a funny hat and an eye patch.


But for you it was Pirate or Nothing?


We said okay.


Then you insisted that we buy you a parrot. Why? Because all pirates have parrots.

We said no but you threw a tantrum, so we broke down and bought you one. It was green and yellow and really mean, and loud. It swore at our guests and even made your grandmother cry. You loved it and we hated it. Oh, how we loathed that damn bird. We wanted to get rid of it.


But for you it was Parrot or Nothing?


So we accepted the parrot into our family because we knew you’d be unhappy without him. You named the parrot Sammy. He didn’t live very long. Sammy could’ve lived to be an old and happy parrot but he didn’t, and it’s ALL your fault. Sammy went to an early grave because you neglected to give him the one thing he needed most to survive.


That’s right. You didn’t give Sammy water to drink.


We weren’t sad to see him go, but it was still unsettling. Poor Sammy died of thirst. We don’t want that to happen to you, do we?


So, how about a glass of water? Doesn’t that sound good? A nice cool glass of water. Here you go. Drink it. Every drop!


Isn’t that refreshing?



© Brett Davidson, 2013



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