Doze on Trump

Doze?

 

Yildaz to you.

 

Sorry. Mr Yildaz.

 

Yes, Rudy?

 

Both candidates for the, uh, the US Presidency … uh … people say they’re, uh, bad people.

Both of ‘em, actually, and …

And I, well, uh, wanted to know what you think about Clinton and Trump.

 

I cannot comment on those people. But I can tell you for sure that I’m a bad person.

 

***

 

Have you ever met Donald Trump? I mean in the flesh.

 

No, but I once spent a week at the Trump Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City.

Had a great time there. Lost $200,000 but it was worth it.

 

You think he’ll win?

 

I do, yes. And when he’s elected, I’d like to find out if there’s a way for me to get my money back. Maybe I’ll apply for the Directorship of some arcane office in DC. I hear the pay’s pretty good. Or maybe I’ll become a political consultant.

 

***

 

What are your political views, sir?

 

I recently bought my own island … which is on its way to becoming a sovereign state.

I have elected myself Big Chief of the island and I do whatever I want.

My only concern is whether I’m comfortable or not. That’s my politics.

 

This sounds childish. Do your citizens call you a dictator or a benevolent king?

 

Well … I sleep a lot. So no one really calls me much of anything.

 

***

 

© Doze Yildaz, 2016


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