Doze on Trump



Yildaz to you.


Sorry. Mr Yildaz.


Yes, Rudy?


Both candidates for the, uh, the US Presidency … uh … people say they’re, uh, bad people.

Both of ‘em, actually, and …

And I, well, uh, wanted to know what you think about Clinton and Trump.


I cannot comment on those people. But I can tell you for sure that I’m a bad person.




Have you ever met Donald Trump? I mean in the flesh.


No, but I once spent a week at the Trump Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City.

Had a great time there. Lost $200,000 but it was worth it.


You think he’ll win?


I do, yes. And when he’s elected, I’d like to find out if there’s a way for me to get my money back. Maybe I’ll apply for the Directorship of some arcane office in DC. I hear the pay’s pretty good. Or maybe I’ll become a political consultant.




What are your political views, sir?


I recently bought my own island … which is on its way to becoming a sovereign state.

I have elected myself Big Chief of the island and I do whatever I want.

My only concern is whether I’m comfortable or not. That’s my politics.


This sounds childish. Do your citizens call you a dictator or a benevolent king?


Well … I sleep a lot. So no one really calls me much of anything.




© Doze Yildaz, 2016

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