Doze Again!

Sanyasi (S): Good morning, Master.


Doze (D): Good morning, Slave.


S: Why do call me Slave? My name’s Edwin.


D: No, your name is Slave. I call you what you are.


S: Please explain, Master.


D: As soon as you leave this Satsang session, you’ll check your iPhone. How do I know this?  Because you do it every time we meet. Our session ends, you check your phone, which is your heroin and your god. You’re a slave of electronic crap and of the expectations of others. Why do you even bother coming here?


S: I am hoping to become liberated.


D: Really? When?


S: Uh … as soon as possible?


D: How about now!


S: Okay.


D: Good!



(Doze takes Edwin’s phone and tosses it out the window and into the Mula Mutha River)


S: Good morning, Sri Yildaz. I’m a U.S. Citizen.


D: Good for you. So am I, by the way.


S: Yes, I know. I wanted to ask you about the upcoming election. What are your thoughts on Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?


D: They’re both seemingly possessed, but by very different kinds of demons. Mrs. Clinton’s got a power demon in her. She’s Lady Macbeth, with long years of practice at whispering in the right ears.  Lots of connections and powerful allies.  I mean, she doesn’t need the Presidency, does she? She needs what most old people need — a cup o’ hot tea, a comfortable armchair, a quilt draped across her lap and to be surrounded by loving family and friends. She needs a cup of Ovamaltine and bottle of oval vitamins, not the Oval Office.


Mr. Trump doesn’t “need” the Presidency either, but who knows? He’s got what most professional politicians lack … a sense of humor. His speech is crude, but whose isn’t these days? The man doesn’t pretend to be a saint. How refreshing!


S: If Trump’s elected, I’m worried he’ll turn all of Washington DC into another Las Vegas.


D: If that actually happens, then we’re movin’ the ashram to DC! Life’s a casino anyhow. It’s all about risk, guts, losing, winning, losing again … and a shower and clean sheets at the end of ride. Few of you sitting here today could possibly lose much more than you already have, so why worry? You’re down to zero on every level. When you reach absolute zero, then we’ll erect a cathedral-casino hitherto undreamed of!


Ultimately, we’re judged by the “fruit” that our Beings produce. You’ll know a tree by it’s fruit. At least that much you’ve learned, and have learned well. Do our actions produce poison or nourishment? Poison berries or pears? Just watch and learn.

S: Thank you, Master.


D: It was nothing, child. Come again sometime.



© Brett Davidson, 2016

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